A Story on Sailing and Souls......

Since my last post, as usual, I have been keeping busy with work and play. I have been in Boston a lot for multiple meetings for new projects which is exciting. I have been sailing a few times on the Revolution out of Robinhood Marina in Georgetown, Maine where I used to live, I went to the St. Jean family reunion, I have also spent time with my Mom while she has been in town which consisted of a lot of dinners over at my brothers and seeing my two nieces and nephew. I also spent the night down in Boston with my sister which was a lot of fun. We went out to an awesome sushi restaurant called Douzo, which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a sushi hot spot in Boston. We also went out to brunch the next morning with my Dad, my Step-Mom and Molly's boyfriend, Hakan. (He's Turkish which would explain the unusual name).

Sailing was fun. I have never raced on a sailboat before. I learned a lot about sailing the three times I went. There were two days of very little wind which made it not as exciting. But there was one day that the wind was howling and we were cruising which made things a lot more intense and exciting. I was so freaked out but amazed at the close calls and precision of passing in between boats while tacking. It was so scary but impressive. We came within feet of other boats while traveling at a pretty good speed. I have never experienced anything like that before. I don't consider myself a sailor by any means, but I would race on a boat again at some point if given the opportunity. I know how to do a few things now where I could contribute. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pictures from the adventure:




















This one morning was super foggy....we were worried about visibility, but it lifted in time.

























You can tell in this picture how incredibly flat it was. Not a good day for sailing, but an awesome day for wakeboarding!! Poor planning! :-(




















The crew:

Our Captain, Ed: (He was digging that cone!)

Skip's cute daughter, Megan:

My recent trip to Boston:

Molly and I at Alibi which is one of the clubs in the New Liberty Hotel. It is a really fun place to go. The architecture is awesome and the Hotel is usually packed. Clink is the other club. Definitely a place to go for people watching. I was there "viewing with different eyes" this time, (which I will explain later on in this post) and it was an interesting site to see for sure. What a scene! It reminded me of why I am glad I don't live in the city. The materialism and "playing" was nauseating. It is fun to go and check it all out once in a while though.

This is Molly's Boyfriend, Hakan. He is really nice. I got to know him on this visit. I had only met him once before and wasn't sure what he was all about, but he is really funny and really sweet. I am happy for Molly because her last boyfriend was a total jerk.

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This is the part of the post where I do some self expression which was the original intention of having this blog in the first place.

I have heard that the eyes are the windows into the soul. When you look into my eyes, what do you see?

I recently had a spiritual reading. One of the things that was brought to my attention was how my soul was speaking to her. She mentioned that she thought it was really cute how my soul spoke up to her and told her what it needed. She said that it needs a nourishing touch. It asked for baths in rosewater, massages, acupuncture and inviting silliness into my life such as blowing bubbles and flying kites. She also said that my soul is connected with another mans soul. This is what she saw when she looked at my soul. Some other things she spoke to me about were how I am a strong and empowered woman which brings me to my next story about strength. I hope this is something that you as a reader can learn from if you are someone who struggles with being true to your soul and being strong.

I recently hit a wall with Steve and broke it off with him. He and I are no longer together. Unfortunately it is the same story I told you about a while back regarding Jeff. I caught Steve in a lie, which ultimately ends up being an entanglement of many lies to keep up the facade of what he was doing to me. I don't want to sit and throw him under the bus because this isn't what this is about. But to summarize, he has issues with being committed to only one person and I don't have room or the interest for that game in my life. I am a monogamous person and expect the same from someone I am in a committed relationship with. I ESPECIALLY have a zero tolerance for anyone lying to me. Dishonesty is the point of no return.

As you know, once something like this happens to you, you talk about it with friends and family. Everyone I am close to in my life knew how much I liked Steve and how much I enjoyed our relationship. Taking out the, "double life" aspect of the relationship, he and I hit it off so well. It was nothing but laughter, lots of fun activity, great communication and deep talks. It was an easy and enjoyable relationship - initially, until the lies kicked in.....but that isn't important here. My point is that everyone was pretty shocked and disappointed, but couldn't believe my resilience. I was told by many of my girlfriends that they were impressed by my strength for going with my gut, investigating the issue and cutting ties despite how hard it was. They were proud of me for sticking up for myself and taking care of myself and not looking the other way or running back for more like many women do.

To be quite honest, I really cannot relate with the idea of anything else. I know there are women who let their heart lead them all the time. I believe it is good to follow your heart in most cases, but certainly not when it involves a repeated pattern of continuous hurt. I have heard so many stories in my life of women constantly going back for more when these things happen and hoping that it will get better or trying to fix it or make it work. I know because I was one of them at one point in my life. My marriage to Erick was such a learning experience. After 6 years of trying to fix things and constantly being hurt, over and over, I finally learned how to walk away and look out for myself.

There are times when a woman should stand by their man and try to make it work. But in my opinion, it should not happen when the pain is pointed at you. If your man is going through a rough time and needs your support, but is still respectful of you and not just for themselves, then yes - be there. But when a man is directing BS in your direction and has disrespected you and has been hurtful to you, that is when it is time to take care of yourself. This type of a problem always has a cyclical pattern. It just isn't worth the pain. There is a time where, enough is enough and your happiness is much more important.

I have always been a believer that, "everything happens for a reason". This is the mantra that keeps me moving forward when times get tough. In my work life and personal life, when shit hits the fan I don't fall apart or freak out about it. I look at the positive side and try to learn from what is happening and realize that there is a reason for it. I believe that Steve and I hit a wall so early on because he wasn't someone I should be with. My spiritual reading exposed that my soul is connected to another mans. I believe that we all have our true soul mate, some of us are lucky enough to meet them in our lifetime and some are not. I hope that I will be lucky enough to meet him some day. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I think he is out there. I think this is why Jeff and Steve did not work out, it happened for a reason. These are the thoughts that give me the ability to be strong and walk away from something that is bad for me, even though initially it is hard to walk away.

I have been reading Eckhart Tolle - slowly but surely. It takes me a while to read anything because I am so busy that it is hard for me to make time for it. When I do, I typically read 10 pages and fall asleep. I read a couple of things recently that I thought were interesting the timing of when I read them. I want to write a tid bit in this post, maybe this will help anyone reading this who needs help - the way it has helped me:

"THIS, TOO, WILL PASS"

Telling a story of a Wise Man helping an unhappy King to be at peace: "This, too, will pass. The inscription on the gold ring read. 'What is the meaning of this?' asked the King. The Wise Man said, 'Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. This way, you will always be at peace.' " Eckhart continues: "The words inscribed on the ring are not telling you that you should not enjoy the good in your life, nor are they merely meant to provide some comfort in times of suffering. They have a deeper purpose: to make you aware of the fleetingness of every situation, which is is due to the transience of all forms - good or bad."

To me, he means for all of us to be aware of the fact that good things and bad things come in and out of our lives - at times it can be at a moments notice. It is important for all of us to enjoy the good that comes and to learn from the bad, but not to cling to or to dwell on these things because they are constantly changing. To be free from harboring anything will help us all to be happier people and to be at peace, to make sense of all the madness.

Something else that I read in his book, which I found interesting because it helped me realize about a certain personality type - which seems to be consistent with the last two men in my life. It helped me understand a little better why they are who they are and why they did what they did. (Not justifying it more than just understanding it better and hopefully avoiding it next time)...it is that of people with short attention spans. A tip to help pick up on it, is if you are talking and they are not listening - it is because of all the noise in their heads....they do not have any sort of attention span. This is what Eckhart said about this personality type:

"A short attention span makes all your perceptions and relationships shallow and unsatisfying. Whatever you do, whatever action you perform in that state, lacks quality. BECAUSE QUALITY REQUIRES ATTENTION."

I found that to be incredibly insightful. It is something that I feel we all can learn from. This can be applied to anything, work, friendships, relationships. I feel that anyone in a committed relationship should give and receive the same level of attention without distraction. And that doesn't just mean with communication, that is in the relationship as a whole. I now know what to lookout for as a red flag the next time I enter into a relationship. Lack of attention translates into problems in many areas of the relationship.

So, when you look into my eyes and see my soul......you will see the soul of someone who is still and will always be "in the pursuit....." Someone who is strong, who is happy and is unwavering.